


best worst thing

by Nyxierose



Series: complications [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 07:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5531441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pining is a new experience. Pining for the first person who's ever intimidated him in an emotional sense is a fricking nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	best worst thing

**Author's Note:**

> So, my last piece kinda turned into a series and... no idea where we're going with this but we're going somewhere. (I just love these two dingbats. That might be the point. Idk.)
> 
> Alsooo, am taking prompts on tumblr @electricbluebutterflies, so if y'all want to see me do more with these little squishes (or have suggestions for this particular series), talk at me over there.

The great thing about a crowded base that's constantly in a state of chaos is that it's easy to avoid just about anyone you'd rather not deal with.

Not that Poe is too experienced on that front. For the most part, he likes people and they like him and he can deal with the occasional small-scale awkwardness or minor personality clash. Anything bigger than that, if it happens in public, people notice and people talk. But complete avoidance… that's doable, and nobody bats an eyelash.

It's just, y'know, a little more complicated when he _wants_ to see the person in question despite everything.

It shouldn't be like this. One of his talents, if one could call it that, is getting physically tangled up with people but keeping emotions completely out of the picture. He's got a little bit of a reputation for that, and supposedly it adds to the charm. Like he even cares. It's the one thing he can do that actually _helps_ people, and it's not like he's a totally sacrificial asshole, just an open-minded one. And if that means he knows a lot more about a lot of key figures than most people do, if that means the occasional rumor, bring it. He likes people _as_ people, doesn't much believe in love as it applies to his own existence, and it helps him sleep at night. As far as coping mechs go, he could do so much worse.

But then there's that girl. That damned girl and her beautiful everything and the first time in his life that he's actually felt unworthy, and maybe _this_ is the sort of emotional connection he's been avoiding all these years. This isn't supposed to happen. He doesn't get attached - the lifespan for people he knows doesn't tend to be good, and he doesn't need ghosts. Especially not in the form of pretty girls who don't even know how perfect they are. _Especially_ like that.

He lets himself have her _once_ , taste of the forbidden and all, and that's it. Period. As soon as she walks off, that's the absolute fucking end of it and he shifts into total avoidance. Less time in Medical, more time in the hangars. He revamps the maintenance protocol out of complete boredom, and at least a few of the other pilots know something's off with him but not in any way that worries them. Not yet, 'least. Matter of time, he's known half of 'em for years and someone's gonna figure it out sooner or later, but at least he's got a little immunity for now.

A week later, the girl leaves. He has to break avoidance protocol for that, has to stand there in line as she says her goodbyes to various people. He hopes she'll skip him completely, but instead she hugs him seconds longer than she should. Doesn't say a thing, but it's enough and in front of enough people that he just _knows_ this is gonna get complicated. (Always great when he can actually _feel_ the General giving him one of her champion "if this is what it looks like, it better not be" looks.) And it's hard not to stare as Rey boards the legendary ship, hard not to worry she might not ever come back. But she's gone for now, and in theory that'll make things easier.

In reality, it does not.

It takes exactly three days for Poe to start having nightmares about the thousand or so terrible things that could happen to the girl. (If he calls her that and not her actual name, it feels less real, less threatening.) He gets it, she might well be one of the most powerful beings alive, but maybe that's the _problem_. And hell, he's not the only one who's worried. It's just different, because as far as anyone else knows he's got no reason to be.

It's different, because it's completely plausible that he's falling in love with someone he barely knows and he shouldn't be. Heroes, true heroes like everyone thinks she's going to become, usually die tragic. And isn't that just his luck, finally wanting to open his heart to someone and it's someone who probably won't last long enough to take up the right amount of space. Or, if she does last, she'll find someone better. She should - he wants her to.

(There's an obvious ending there. He'd be okay with it. Two of the best people he's ever met, two broken young kids who need all the good things in the world - them finding light in each other makes a lot of sense. And if they were to let him in a while down the line, once they figure out how _their_ dynamic works, he'd be completely willing. But humans are weird, it's completely plausible things will play out differently… he's not exactly holding his breath.)

The waiting lasts two weeks. Poe hangs out in Medical a lot, using the absence as an excuse to spend almost every waking moment watching over Finn. _Somebody_ familiar needs to be there when the kid wakes up, and he figures he's the best option at this point. Everybody else seems to agree, and he hears some murmurs about stress breakdowns but nothing that actually worries him. Nothing that gets said to his face. Nothing that sounds a damned thing like what's actually happening. (He doesn't actually know what's happening and isn't sure he wants to find a word for it, but it definitely isn't _that_.)

It's coincidence that he's in the hangar when she comes back, coincidence that he's practically the first person there waiting. She's the last person off - the droid wanders down first, then the Wookie, then a man in a robe who is almost definitely the legendary Luke Skywalker, and _finally_ the girl. Finally.

Hell with this, Poe thinks, moving forward and pulling her into his arms. That sort of interaction is fair game, right?

"You missed me," she laughs, burrowing her head against his shoulder.

"Something like that."

There's a lot of things going on around them, and it hits him that he could probably kiss her right now and nobody else would ever know. He wants to, nearly does, stops himself because he's still not sure if that's what she wants.

"I thought about what you said," she murmurs, and oh shit here it comes. This is the part where she tells him to stay away from her, this is the part where she pushes back, this is-

"… and I'm not sure you're right."

Or that.

"About what?" he counters, because he's mentally replayed that little conversation a hundred times a day since it happened but maybe she caught something different than he did and-

"I like you. And unless I missed something, you like me too." Rey takes a deep breath, steadies herself against him but she's still clinging and that's got to be a good sign _somehow_. "I don't know how to be with people, I don't have any idea what I'm doing, but I _do_ know that you make me feel good. Not just sexually, but… you respect me, and I'm not used to that but I like it." Another breath, and he's pretty sure he feels her heart rate speed up. "What I'm trying to say is… I'm in if you're in and if you're willing to help me figure this out. If you don't want me, you can say so, but-"

"Who the fuck would ever say no to you?" he interjects, unable to fathom the very idea. "I don't think-"

"I'm not a parasite. You can get rid of me if you want. I'm leaving the option open, but… I don't want that. You're different and I like you and-"

 _Now_ he can kiss her. Never mind there are at least thirty people in viewing range, never mind that someone's gonna see and he'll have to run some serious damage control on this in the aftermath, right now _he does not care_. Right now there's nothing in his world but the flawless woman in his arms and the softness of her and the little whimpers she makes when he sucks on her bottom lip. If she wants him, he's hers. Period.


End file.
